Men: This is what you can do to help end sexism

#1

Written for men in the games world, but applies to men everywhere:

“All it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.”

All it takes for sexism to prosper is for good men to see nothing.

Society teaches men to take action. The issue of sexism in gaming (and in general) is presented as a litany of events that make any listener with a conscience feel uncomfortable. Worse yet, when a problem is pointed out, and no actions are presented to address it, men feel like they’re being blamed for the problem, which makes them feel defensive.

I have a list of things you can do.

Do some or all of these as you feel personally safe to do. You don’t need to be a Hollywood Action Hero to do these. Doing ANY of these things will help.

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#2

That’s a great article.

This, though, so much this:

A friend of mine, New York Times bestselling author Steven Barnes, has a term for these kinds of people: “Smiling monsters.” They’ll smile and be cheerful to your face when you confront them, and expect you to forget them entirely while they go back to whatever it was you caught them at. These people rely on two facts: The first is that their victim doesn’t want to trigger a confrontation: even bold, brave women like the cosplayer I befriended at Sasquan get jittery about direct confrontation. The second is that good men, like you, won’t believe they’re doing what they’re doing, because they can’t imagine doing it. It’s easy to overlook smiling monsters when they give a glib answer and scuttle out of sight.

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#3

It’s all ok. Sexism isn’t an issue any more…

[Well, according to men it’s not][1].

[A Pew Research Center poll][2] found that over 50% (56% to be precise) of US men think that ‘obstacles that made it harder for women to get ahead are largely gone’ while only 34% of women agree.

There’s a stark difference between Republicans and Democrats, with 63% of republicans/right leaning people (75% men, 50% women) agreeing with the statement while only 30% of democrats/left-leaning people (39% men, 23% women) agree.

So, to bring this back to the thread title, what men can do is ask why they think that sexism isn’t an issue any more while women do. Could it be that, maybe - just maybe - it is still an issue?
[1]: https://mic.com/articles/151868/there-s-good-news-for-women-concerned-about-sexism-according-to-a-majority-of-men#.xjSbzF5tH
[2]: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/08/16/in-both-parties-men-and-women-differ-over-whether-women-still-face-obstacles-to-progress/

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#4

Australian students to be taught about ‘male privilege’
An interesting project.

Why sexual consent classes should not be scoffed at

“An awareness that consent is not simply a matter of whether someone has said “yes” is at the heart of these consent sessions. And providing students with guidance about sexual consent, appropriate sexual behaviours and debunking rape myths will ensure they make informed choices. Learning about these issues may be challenging, but it is never patronising or insulting”

It’s the fathers of sons who can fix misogyny
I love this piece!

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#5

This is a really interesting piece on how women are expected to help men regulate their emotions.

Men Dump Their Anger Into Women

To be in keeping with the title of the thread, I’d recommend that men read this piece, recognise if and where they see any relevance to their own lives and change accordingly.

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#6

Men Just Don’t Trust Women. And This Is A Problem
I’m not sure if I’ve already posted this one but it’s worth repeating anyway.

But you know what I don’t really trust? What I’ve never actually trusted with any women I’ve been with? Her feelings.

If she approaches me pissed about something, my first reaction is “What’s wrong?”

My typical second reaction? Before she even gets the opportunity to tell me what’s wrong? “She’s probably overreacting.”

My typical third reaction? After she expresses what’s wrong? “Ok. I hear what you’re saying, and I’ll help. But whatever you’re upset about probably really isn’t that serious.”

I’m both smart and sane, so I don’t actually say any of this aloud. But I am often thinking it. Until she convinces me otherwise, I assume that her emotional reaction to a situation is disproportionate to my opinion of what level of emotional reaction the situation calls for. Basically, if she’s on eight, I assume the situation is really a six.

A Man’s Guide To Improving Your Emotional IQ
This is a really great piece. It’s relevant to everyone but especially those who think emotions are something to be repressed rather than understood.

People who claim to be the least emotional and have the thickest skins also tend to be the ones who lose their shit the most. And usually over the stupidest damn things…

you may be incredibly smart… but if you’re another person who mistakes “intelligence” for “being an asshole”, you’re going to have harder time understanding why nobody wants to be your friend.

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